Paths.

Last night our pastor preached on prayer. Something I really needed to hear. I knew so in my heart and I was reassured when I left because my toes were sore. You know, from him stepping on them.

The Good Lord knew just what I needed to hear. He has been trying to get through to me for some time now but I have been ignorant and have been choosing not to listen. I heard, but I did not listen.

There is a difference.

So He went another route and used someone else to speak His message to me.

Bro. E preached for about 20 minutes and I listened. But it didn't sink in until the end when he used a particular description. This is how it went. Minus some of the better details because I just can't remember them.

There were people in another land who lived in little huts. They lived about 7-8 people per hut so there wasn't a lot of room for privacy. And private meetings with the Lord is something He requires.

So these people would go out into the woods as a group and then disperse from each other to meet with the Lord. Some would go behind trees. Some behind bushes. Some just simply away from the others. And then they would come back together. They would talk about their prayer request and they would say-

We should pray for (insert name.) For their path has grown up.

Stop right there. Can you imagine? We should pray for them, for their path has grown up.

What if we had paths that people could see? What if they could tell whether we were or were not taking out time from our day to meet with the Lord? Really and truly meet with him.

Actually, I'm kindof glad we don't. Frankly, I would be embarrassed. And ashamed. People count on me to pray for them and I let it slip past me.

For my own path has grown up. My room is vacant. And each day that goes by without fervent prayer to the Lord is a wasted day.

So what about your path. How does it look today? Is is worn down from feet that are diligent and worthy of a time of communication with the Lord? Or is it like mine? Full of brush, thorns and weeds-that look so misleading. Thicket that is quietly saying that its too much for me to trample. To wide to get through. To dangerous to trod.

What does your path look like?

Thanksgiving checklist

If you know anything about me you know that I am very family oriented. Family is my thing. When the holidays roll around I always look forward to the next year because I know that we will be able to do it again. But this year is different.

I mentioned in my last post that this is mine and N's last holiday season as singles with our families before we begin our own traditions. And I said it was bittersweet. Which it is.

But I realized today that I am not happy this season. I'm not quite whole. And I didn't realize how hard this holiday season was going to be until I realized I had to do it alone. The man who put the ring on my finger would be miles away with his family. Enjoying their traditions. While I am sludging through mine. And that's hard.

There is a sense of longing that has never existed. Even when we were dating and I went to see all of my out-of-town family, it never really hurt. Yes, of course I missed him but it wasn't painful, per say. This year, oh its way different. Way way different.

And this is only the first holiday of this season. Lord, keep close. I'm going to need you.

And so, on my thanksgiving checklist I have:

turkey...check

dressing...check

family...check

laughter...check

shopping..check

a whole, happy heart... no-so-check.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. May your week be filled with lots of food, laughter, and the ones you love the most.

Spark of Random

Its one of those nights in which I have nothing to do- other than sit here and bask in my lack of creativity and inability to write a decent, or moreso, interesting blog.

So as I sulk in my brainfart, I will let you in on a little of my life lately. (Its madly entertaining so hang onto your seats boys and girls.)

-I am getting married in 111 days. It is flying by. Most of the time I am so ready to get married and then I am reminded of my weirdness and faults and I wonder if I can actually live with someone for the rest of my life without them wanting to run screaming. Lawd, please. N, I hope you're ready.

-Since I mentioned wedding, this is mine and N's last holiday season to ourselves. My last one in which the same ole ways that we have always done things will be normal. Next year we will start our own traditions. Its exciting. But oh so bittersweet.

-I have been on weight watchers for 10 weeks now and I lost 10 pounds! I don't feel any different but I know the buttons on my jeans are thanking me. I hope (Lord Jesus I need all the self control you can possible give one person) that I can keep it off over the holidays. It is going to be so hard. But our leader said that if we mearly maintain over the holidays, we should count that as a win. So bring it on turkey and dressing. You don't scare me...or Jillian Michaels. Well you may scare my hips but January is right around the corner...I will work you off.

-We booked our honeymoon! After much debate and many headaches, we chose.....drumroll please...DISNEYWORLD! I am so excited. My parents honeymooned at Disneyworld as did N's sister and brother-in-law. And did you expect me and that crazy guy of mine to go anywhere serious. Puh-leez.

-ok. thats it. I am totally out of things to say. I am ashamed. But don't blame me. Blame the turkey and dressing that has my mind racing and my mouth drooling. Its going to be sinful.

Until next time. But don't hold your breath. You all know how I am when it come to blogging.

Married to the ministry.

I mean...Married to the minister. Youth minister that is. Ordained youth minister to be complete.

Ok and so we aren't so married yet but soon.

And in these months of engagement I have prayed that the Lord would prepare my heart for things I would never imagine. I asked him to give me a peace about why we had to have such a long engagement by keeping close to me. Preparing me to be married in the ministry. Helping me learn how to surrender anything that I needed to to be a better wife for my husband.

And let me warn any fellow passive pray-ers, if you say it you better mean it.

I have been a methodist all my life. I know the norms of the denomination. I understand why we do things the way we do. I know what not to do. But the Lord wasn't satisfied with me being so comfortable the way things were. No! He had to go and shake things up. And by shake I only mean totallyshakethingsupbymakingmechangedenominationsandbehappyaboutit kind of shake up. No biggie right? Wrong!

It is so hard to change what I have always known. To leave behind the church that meant so much to me. To join a church that my soon-to-be-husband belongs to and not my parents. To totally switch denominations. Become a baptist.

Have I mentioned its hard? Because it is. And I think it was so hard for me because I had to be baptized. I think baptisms are precious when its a youngster who just recieved Christ. Or an old man who just surrender to the 20 year chase of the Holy Spirit. But me? I have been a believer for 3 years and have done fine without baptism. Besides, we don't really do that in the methodist church. Its just not as common. You can tell I have had a stong struggle in my heart about it because I have written about it before.

I knew it was coming. But I was mad.

And then we go back to the Lord. You remember when I asked Him to do something insane during this long engagement that He couldn't do if we were married? Well He did. And He did it big.

Long story short, I was baptized this weekend. N got ordained in the most beautiful ceremony and at the end he performed his first act as an ordained minster...he baptized his fiance. Me. The Methodist-turned-Baptist.

It was everything I needed it to be. Me, God, and N. Mom and dad were there. Ash and Chris. The in-laws. It was beautiful.

So all that to say-be careful what you pray for. He is listening and sometimes, there is no haste to His answer.

Forgiven

Does the forgiveness that was won for you on the cross matter to me?

Does the forgiveness that was won on the cross for me matter to you?

Do we cherish the forgiveness of others or do we only consider what was done for us. For only us. For me. For only me. Specifically. One on one. Just my sins. Just your sins.

Or do we take time to appreciate the fact that grace and forgiveness is endless. That it extends to all races. To all shapes. To all tribes. To all nations. But most importantly, to all sins.

Do I consider that that mess up you had-that slip of the tongue, that moment that was not above reproach, that sip of alcohol, that impure action- years ago has been paid for in full before I judge you?

And do you, will you, please consider that I am forgiven when you decide to judge me. Or us. For I will account for the things that I have done wrong. My knee will bow and my tongue, confess of all my shortcomings. But until that day...

Lets remember that the forgiveness that was won on the cross that day was for you and for me. Endless. Unchanging. Lets keep our fingers and judgemental words tucked away and just bask in the peace of knowing that we are-

forgiven.

Meet My Wedding Party!

Ever since I was little I have dreamed about my wedding. I knew what colors I wanted (only except I used to dream of a wedding with tons of pinks and white- I am using blue and silver- now that I'm older I have more sence about me).

Back on topic, so I always dreamed of who would be standing beside me holding my flowers and fluffing my dress. Along the years my best friends have changed so much that I just knew God would not allow me to get married before I had the person who would be my maid of honor, my life long friend, and all the other "positions" until he provided those people. And He did.

So would you like to meet them? They are dying to meet you.

Maid of Honor: Ashley McGee

Me and Ashley met at Itawamba Community College when we were freshmen. We were both on color guard so we kindof had to become friends. Well, friends we were to become! I can't explain how it happened but we just instantly became best friends. She talked to me about Chirst and invited me to go to a Bible Study with her. He caring words and love for me and the Lord eventually led me to my salvation. So we have been best friends going on 4 years now. We live together again (since ICC) and I couldn't imagine anyone better to be living my last single months with than her. She is so much fun! And encouraging. And pretty. And smart. And-well she's my Maid of Honor. or MOH as I like to call her.

Matron of Honor: Dawn Geno

This is Dawn. Isn't she precious. She is Nathan's big sister. The wife to Bradley Geno. And the mother to Lydia Grace. When I was younger I always wanted a sister but I had no clue that the Lod would ever actually give me one. In high school I always dated boys with only brothers so when I found out that Nathan had sisters, I was actually quite scared. Were they going to be like me and hate all the girls that my brother brought home? Were they going to be quiet? Were they going to be accepting? And I am blessed to say that they were everything I wanted in "sisters". Me and Dawn have gotten so close in the last few months and I wouldn't want anyone else to stand in my party as my matron of honor if if wasn't her. She is full of grace and beauty. She is sweeter than a cherry and nicer than anyone I have ever been around. And she gave me my first neice. Kuddos to that, right!

Bridesmaid: Emily Russell

Emily is also Nathan's sister and she is totally my type. Emily is so full of energy and excitement. She loves to talk so I knew from the beginning that we would get along. Emily is a junior in high school and is a cheerleader. She is totally like the typical like cheerleader type, ok? ok! No, but in all seriousness- Emily has the faith like no other for her age. She shallenges me to be a better Christian and a better person in general. Em loves her brother and her dad more than any other men in the world. She is too sweet like that! Emily is going to bring so much cheer and joy to our wedding day- I can't wait to see her standing beside me.

Bridesmaid: Kimberly Wiginton

This is my cousin Kimberly. Kim is 4 years older than me but you would never know it when we are together. We have always been best of friends. But sadly, we have lived so far away while we were growing up that we only got to see each other at family get togethers. But distance didn't stop up from being inseperable when we did get to see each other. When we get together, its like noone else exists. We don't stop talking and we surely don't stop laughing. Kimberly was the cousin or friend that we all have who we want to look like and be like and talk like...you know what I'm talking about? Yea, thats her. She is a doll inside and out. This is one person who I have always known would be in my wedding one day.

Bridesmaid: Rachel Rodgers

Rachel is the one on the right and also my cousin from the other side of my family. Her dad is my dad's brother. She is absoutly beautiful. Rachel and me were the cousins who would get together and would always get in trouble. "Who, Whitney," you gasp in shock! Yes me. This girl could get me to do anything growing up. There was never a dull moment with us two. Rachel and me have always talked about our wedding days so when the ring came, I knew that she would be in it. She also just finished cosmotology school so all credit will be given to her for the cute heads of hair on the big day.

Junior Bridesmaid: MaryAnne Purvis

MaryAnne is my junior bridesmaid and we have been friends since she was born. Her mom had difficulty getting pregnant so MaryAnne is such a blessing to us all. She has the spunk of the typical 5th grader but the love of an adult. In this picture me and MaryAnne were playing "dress up" in our dresses for the wedding so, yes thats my veil. Our two moms are best friends so me and MaryAnne get to hangout alot and it has been so cool to see her grow into a young lady and develop her own personality through the years. Again, since I never had any sisters of my own, MaryAnne has had the priviledge, errrr chance, to play that for me! She is going to be cute as a button in the wedding.

So there you have it. Thats my side of the wedding party. Nathan still hasn't asked all of his party so I can't do them yet but what do those stinky boys matter anyways. I am so glad you got to meet the ladies who are the most important to me. They were delighted to have the opportunity to meet you =)

Raise your hand if you love pictures!

For all of those who raised their hands, here you go.

I have had a lack of posting lately but I promise thats about to end. I have a spectacular idea (well you may not think so) but its going to be the brainchild of my posting from here on out, errr except today.

So now onto said photos...