Cured

Thanks to this little man and his unbelievable cuteness, baby fever is cured. For now. Amen.

I know I forgot to tell my maybe 2 followers that me and N added to our new family in April. We bought this little guy and his name is Oliver and he is the wild man of the house. So thanks be to him who has cured my fever.

I Want A Baby

I know. Before you start lecturing about how we should wait and we just got married and we can't afford a family and its crazy to think that we could support a baby right now... know that this is my blog and I can write what I want to write.

Above any and all other things in my life, I have always known that I wanted to be a mom. I feel called to be a mom. I think that I will be good at being a mom.

For some reason lately I have felt bad. I have had indigestion, a lower back ache, headaches, and even nausia. One morning before work I had to run to the bathroom for fear of loosing my cookies.

So naturally I thought to myself, "Oh good gravy, I do believe these are all symptoms that I have heard other women talk about while they were pregnant."

So I did what all women do when they get the pregnant thought in their head-I got my husband to go to the store and get a pregnancy test.

I took it. And it was negative. I wiped a few tears from my eyes and came out of the bathroom acting as if a test had never entered my house. But my heart ached. No baby. For me. Now.


So the next day we went to a church function and someone came up to me and asked if I was pregnant. My heart told me to say, "Nope. Just fat." But what I really said was, "Ha! No, why?"

He proceeded to say that he overheard me and some of the other guests talking about babies and thought that I may have told that I was preggers.

I explained the situation with a smile on my face but I was trying to cover up the fact that I felt like I had just been hit in the gut with a baseball bat.

Its not easy wanting a baby so bad but having to tell others that one does not exist.

I know that the time will come, I know this. But I want a baby. And I want one now.


And end pity party Now.

There is so much to say...

And I don't even know where to begin.

So I will start with the only thing I do know,
and that is that I have one amazing husband. In a world that is ever changing, he is my one constant.

Where we were, we will call it 'O', some things happened in a church that should never happen. The leadership was wavering and hypocritical. It was hard to see God work in a church when the right people wanted the wrong things.

So me and N began to look for a way out. We forced some things and spent all our energy on wasted desires.

But we knew all along that without God's blessing and will we would get no where.
So we surrendered. We threw our hands up and said, "Ok God. We will stay here. We will do our best to mend the issues here, and we will be joyful about it. I said joyful-not happy."

And thats when it happened. God opened every single door that we were trying to open ourselves. It was amazing to see. He wanted the same things for us that we wanted-He just wanted to be the One to make it happen.

You see, if we had succeeded with OUR plan then we would have failed. We would have given ourselves the credit and somewhere down deep we would have forgotten to rely on Him. But the instant that we gave the reigns back to him, He provided all. Man, we serve a good good God.

So His plan for our lives right now involved moving to a city we will call 'M'. Its in Tennessee and its the home of all things Elvis.

N is still a youth minister but in a totally different venue than we left.

And I, I am a teacher. I teach high schoolers and I teach them math and english. Its a joy.

So that is where we are. We are doing our best to navigate life as newlyweds in an everchanging world. But praise sweet Jesus that He gave me a man that is constant. Never swerving. Focused on His will. And patient and forgiving.

He, N, is the second thing that has kept me happy during all this. And because my sweet savior decided to show us His will for us, He is the first thing.

Ch.Ch. Ch. Changes

Just like the seasons, change is inevitable. I have come to realize that. Especially in this season of my life. No pun intended. Big changes are taking place for us and I am very excited about them. I am excited about the future.

But I also wonder what will this season hold?
A baby?
A new house?
A splendid job?
New friends?

There is so much left unanswered but I know this much:

There is a time for everything. A season for every activity under heaven.

-Ecclesiastes 3:1

Monday Morning Meeting

As the hubs went off to his office this morning for staff meeting I thought I would have a meeting of my own. On here. With myself. Unless you choose to attend.

Topics to discuss...
1. Independance Day Happenings
2. Chores to be done
3. My latest desire
4. My latest baby name

Let do this thing...

1. Independance Day...me and N spend this Independance day with ourselves. Not technically with just ourselves but with no other immediate family. It was a little strange. Our 4th consisted of going to church (our church sings that song in which all the branches of the US military are acknowledged...I know, I am pathetic but I don't know the name...anyways-that song always gives me the chills because as the choir sings the men and women represented stand with pride and bask in their recognition. I simply love it). After church, we cooked lunch and then headed out to "The Park". The local place where everyone swims and hangsout. We stayed until dark and watched a fabulous display of fireworks. In my opinion it lasted 20 fireworks too long but all the kids loved it. So it was worth it.

2. My chores for today consist of cleaning my kitchen (which absoutly never stays clean), feeding my sweet animals, washing clothes, sweep the floors, go grocery shopping, and plan a back yard bible club for our community. Its going to be a full day.

3. My lastest desires these days are a sewing maching and a super sweet camera. One that can take pictures like hers. I am jealous. I told Nate that we had to buy one as soon as we start a family. I guess I will just have to be patient. I want a sewing maching that can sew lots of cool stitches and even do a little monogramming. Can I sew you ask...why Heavens NO! But that doesn't mean a girl can't dream.

4. And the biggest and the best... my latest baby name.

Carolyn Elaine

Darling right? Let me explain...My dad's middle name is Carroll. My mom's name is MaryLYN. Nate's mom's middle name is Aleine. Elaine is more my style. So with one name we include 3 grandparents! I am loving it.

And with that our meeting is concluded. I hope you enjoyed our time together. See ya soon.

A busy girl and a big birthday shout-out!

I feel like this summer has been a whirlwind of events, camps, vacation, preparation to be a teacher, and being a wife (which, of course is the best.)

So far I have attended 2 camps, been on one 1 week trip to Gulf Shores, been to Nashville for 1 amazing concert, seen kids 500 different times, planned the layout of my future room at least 3 bazillion times in my head, washed 900 of my own dishes, taken 2 of my 3 animals to the vet in which I spent $236, packed-unpacked- and washed 4 times, been to Louisiana 2 times, unpacked 3 more boxes of wedding gifts, kissed my husband many times, and plenty more. But I will spare you. So thats the reason why I haven't written.

But before I go I want to wish the best a best birthday wish. Ashley Nicole McGee...You are my hero...Can I be you when I grow up? I am the luckiest girl in the world to have this little lady as my partner in crime, my maid of honor, my past roomie, my soul sister, my accountability, my future children's auntie, and just my friend. I promise I never take for granted what I have in her. And even though we are miles away, our hearts are together beat by beat.

I love you, ANM.

Baby Names

Not that there is any reason for me to be thinking of baby names...because there isn't. But it is awful fun to think of what I will actually name my son or daughter if/when God does decide to bless us.

I have been doing a lot of Baby Name thinking here lately, definately not because I want a baby. No thats not it. OK there may be a smidge of baby fever going on here at 205 Love Lane but thats beside the point.

This post is totally for my use only, like I said when that day comes.

Totally.

Totally.

So for my own purpose I would like to list a list of possible baby names. Mr. Russell would appreciate you listening because he is so tired of me spouting off random name ideas all day and night.

So here goes.

1. Camden Paul

2. Camille Something

3. Lena Elaine

4. Macy Kate

5. Collier Pete

6. Renden May

7. Claude Something

8. Caleb Something

9. Sara Something

Ahhh I feel much better. Now then, we won't do this again until next week. :) I'll be missing you.