Paths.

Last night our pastor preached on prayer. Something I really needed to hear. I knew so in my heart and I was reassured when I left because my toes were sore. You know, from him stepping on them.

The Good Lord knew just what I needed to hear. He has been trying to get through to me for some time now but I have been ignorant and have been choosing not to listen. I heard, but I did not listen.

There is a difference.

So He went another route and used someone else to speak His message to me.

Bro. E preached for about 20 minutes and I listened. But it didn't sink in until the end when he used a particular description. This is how it went. Minus some of the better details because I just can't remember them.

There were people in another land who lived in little huts. They lived about 7-8 people per hut so there wasn't a lot of room for privacy. And private meetings with the Lord is something He requires.

So these people would go out into the woods as a group and then disperse from each other to meet with the Lord. Some would go behind trees. Some behind bushes. Some just simply away from the others. And then they would come back together. They would talk about their prayer request and they would say-

We should pray for (insert name.) For their path has grown up.

Stop right there. Can you imagine? We should pray for them, for their path has grown up.

What if we had paths that people could see? What if they could tell whether we were or were not taking out time from our day to meet with the Lord? Really and truly meet with him.

Actually, I'm kindof glad we don't. Frankly, I would be embarrassed. And ashamed. People count on me to pray for them and I let it slip past me.

For my own path has grown up. My room is vacant. And each day that goes by without fervent prayer to the Lord is a wasted day.

So what about your path. How does it look today? Is is worn down from feet that are diligent and worthy of a time of communication with the Lord? Or is it like mine? Full of brush, thorns and weeds-that look so misleading. Thicket that is quietly saying that its too much for me to trample. To wide to get through. To dangerous to trod.

What does your path look like?

Thanksgiving checklist

If you know anything about me you know that I am very family oriented. Family is my thing. When the holidays roll around I always look forward to the next year because I know that we will be able to do it again. But this year is different.

I mentioned in my last post that this is mine and N's last holiday season as singles with our families before we begin our own traditions. And I said it was bittersweet. Which it is.

But I realized today that I am not happy this season. I'm not quite whole. And I didn't realize how hard this holiday season was going to be until I realized I had to do it alone. The man who put the ring on my finger would be miles away with his family. Enjoying their traditions. While I am sludging through mine. And that's hard.

There is a sense of longing that has never existed. Even when we were dating and I went to see all of my out-of-town family, it never really hurt. Yes, of course I missed him but it wasn't painful, per say. This year, oh its way different. Way way different.

And this is only the first holiday of this season. Lord, keep close. I'm going to need you.

And so, on my thanksgiving checklist I have:

turkey...check

dressing...check

family...check

laughter...check

shopping..check

a whole, happy heart... no-so-check.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. May your week be filled with lots of food, laughter, and the ones you love the most.

Spark of Random

Its one of those nights in which I have nothing to do- other than sit here and bask in my lack of creativity and inability to write a decent, or moreso, interesting blog.

So as I sulk in my brainfart, I will let you in on a little of my life lately. (Its madly entertaining so hang onto your seats boys and girls.)

-I am getting married in 111 days. It is flying by. Most of the time I am so ready to get married and then I am reminded of my weirdness and faults and I wonder if I can actually live with someone for the rest of my life without them wanting to run screaming. Lawd, please. N, I hope you're ready.

-Since I mentioned wedding, this is mine and N's last holiday season to ourselves. My last one in which the same ole ways that we have always done things will be normal. Next year we will start our own traditions. Its exciting. But oh so bittersweet.

-I have been on weight watchers for 10 weeks now and I lost 10 pounds! I don't feel any different but I know the buttons on my jeans are thanking me. I hope (Lord Jesus I need all the self control you can possible give one person) that I can keep it off over the holidays. It is going to be so hard. But our leader said that if we mearly maintain over the holidays, we should count that as a win. So bring it on turkey and dressing. You don't scare me...or Jillian Michaels. Well you may scare my hips but January is right around the corner...I will work you off.

-We booked our honeymoon! After much debate and many headaches, we chose.....drumroll please...DISNEYWORLD! I am so excited. My parents honeymooned at Disneyworld as did N's sister and brother-in-law. And did you expect me and that crazy guy of mine to go anywhere serious. Puh-leez.

-ok. thats it. I am totally out of things to say. I am ashamed. But don't blame me. Blame the turkey and dressing that has my mind racing and my mouth drooling. Its going to be sinful.

Until next time. But don't hold your breath. You all know how I am when it come to blogging.