Thanksgiving checklist

If you know anything about me you know that I am very family oriented. Family is my thing. When the holidays roll around I always look forward to the next year because I know that we will be able to do it again. But this year is different.

I mentioned in my last post that this is mine and N's last holiday season as singles with our families before we begin our own traditions. And I said it was bittersweet. Which it is.

But I realized today that I am not happy this season. I'm not quite whole. And I didn't realize how hard this holiday season was going to be until I realized I had to do it alone. The man who put the ring on my finger would be miles away with his family. Enjoying their traditions. While I am sludging through mine. And that's hard.

There is a sense of longing that has never existed. Even when we were dating and I went to see all of my out-of-town family, it never really hurt. Yes, of course I missed him but it wasn't painful, per say. This year, oh its way different. Way way different.

And this is only the first holiday of this season. Lord, keep close. I'm going to need you.

And so, on my thanksgiving checklist I have:

turkey...check

dressing...check

family...check

laughter...check

shopping..check

a whole, happy heart... no-so-check.

Happy Thanksgiving to you all. May your week be filled with lots of food, laughter, and the ones you love the most.