We're Expecting...

Something soon. But not a baby. sigh. And hopefully it will come a lot sooner than 9 months. But before I continue, there is a small disclaimer...please sign below before you continue. 

*Remember this is my blog and I write to remember my life. If you think I shouldn't write about things like this, then please direct yourself to the red X at the top right of your screen.

**This post talks about gas. And bowels. And tears. And even a baby. So if you don't want to hear me vent on my blog then again, please have the satisfaction of pushing the red X. 

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This is where you sign. 

Ok, so if you have seen me lately and noticed that I had gained a few pounds, I have. I am having some medical issues in the form of a clogged bowel system. If that didn't sound painful then let me explain myself. I have so much air built up in my system that I am too bloated to wear any form of pants that button. I am not a go-to-the-doctor kind of girl but I have been in so much pain that I drug my expanding self on in. The doctor wasn't sure what all was going on so he suggested an x-ray. If I wasn't nervous before, I was then. 

The x-ray tech does her thing and sends me on out. 5 minutes later the doc comes back in and tells me that he has never seen anything like it. My bowels are completely backed up. Cram packed. Stuffed. Which causes air build up. Which was causing terrible indigestion. No wonder I was so miserable. 

Today I went to school for the first time since I have felt so bad. The students saw my expanding belly and in all their sweet innocence they questioned, "Mrs. Russell, are you pregnant today. You look pregnant today. Why is your stomach so big if you aren't pregnant." 

Do you know how hard it is to long to be pregnant, to want to carry a child, and then to be asked if you are pregnant. Because you are so big in the mid-section. But instead the only thing inside is a belly full of gas. And indigestion. And a breaking heart. 

I wanted to scream, "NO I AM NOT PREGNANT. I AM FAT BECAUSE I HAVE A CLOGGED BOWEL SYSTEM." 

But instead I kindly explained the situation the best I could and added the fact that I was very uncomfortable and would need to be sitting down more than normal. But all I really wanted to do was cry. 

So I managed at school but can I just vent some more. 

OK thank you. 

And I understand that this is the worst blog I have ever written ,but when all I can feel are air bubbles moving around in my gut, I think I have an excuse to be discombobulated. 

I have now forgotten what I wanted to vent about. 

So yes we are expecting. A delivery. With the help of 3 laxatives. A big delivery. And I am not ashamed to talk about it. I have no modesty. That went out the door a long time ago. (Sunday as a matter of fact...when all this started.)

Now if you will excuse me, I am about to go wallow in my own pity. And drink another laxative. 

Sheesh.