Peace.

I hear you. And I have been listening. I hate that you have this power over me. I hate that I let you. I want you to just be quiet. This tug-o-war inside my soul is driving me crazy. I cant even rationalize one single thought because of YOU. And you are loving it. I am not. And you are loving that. Why do you find joy in tormenting me? You sick, evil one.



Dear child. Just listen to me. I am the only voice that means anything. All others will tell you that they are right. Don't listen to them. Look at me. Really look. Look with the eyes of your heart. The ones who know the decision you need to make. You know the decision you need to make. Is all this worth it? Are the harsh words towards each other worth it?



I want to listen to Him. Not you. So back off. You hear what he is telling me? He is saying that he is the only one who matters. So you have won me over in the past. Not this time. This time the decision that needs to be made affects the one I am in love with. The one that He planned for me to be with. And there is nothing that love can't conquer. I am done listening to you.



Father. I don't understand why it is such a big deal. Don't I show you enough with my works. Now its a rule that I show you in a ceremonious tradition. Is that what this is all about? I feel like out of no where, this faith that was freeing and full of hope has been loaded down with the weight of a sign that says "Beware, Strings Attatched." Its like to them I don't truly love You unless I show them in the way that they want me to. I hate that. And I don't want to be a part of that.

Muhahahaha. You are listening to me. My diabloical scheme is working. All those strings...I placed them there. They can be cut. But if I continue to have it my way then you won't be able to see the light of the scissors for all the pain and confusion and worry that I will show you. Little girl. Don't listen to those people. That boy doesnt mean that much to you. Its not worth the heartache. Just listen to me, do what I say, and noone will even know this all happened. Besides, is your pride really worth saking for a bunch of people who have to have you prove something to them? No. Didn't think so.

I have had enough. Listen to me. Again, look at me. Its not for them. It is for me. It if were for nothing would I have done it? I lived exactly as I want you to live. It is not foolish. Stop listening to him. And when you feel ashamed just look into my face. I am there. It is me and you. It is not a bunch of eyes looking at you. It is me and you. And the man you love. Are we worth it to you? Show me with your actions. Be faithful child. Whitney Nicole Rodgers, I am always faithful to you. Will you be faithful when the time comes. Little One, I believe in you. Look into my face. Let me wash it all away and raise you up with me. No strings attatched. Remember that time on the cross, I cut those all away. Now be free. In me.

I believe. And I promise I will listen. Let me feel you every step of the way. He is worth it. And ultimately you were embarassed for me in front of millions for me. No one supporting you. No one on your side. I am joining faithful ones. With support and open arms. YOU ARE WORTH IT. I am sorry it has taken all this to get it across to me. Forgive me.