Questions

How am I supposed to deal with ignorance when dealing with the definition of ignorance is part of my husband's job? And especially when that ignorance has chosen to pick on me.

When does my career become a priority? Just because you are a man, and I have to honor you, why do my dreams automatically go on the back burner with no question, no hesitation, my consideration?

Why can't God give me what I need to handle these situations before I go through them, not while I am going through them. And when I am going through them why can't He be a little more direct with the answers on how to handle them.

What if I do what I want to do.

What happens when I come to despise ministry?* My job doesn't drag you into a tangle of messes and heartache. Why do I have to be a part of the ugly part of yours.

*I don't despise the people I minister to (or attempt to minister to). I just despise the drama that ministry brings.

And that brings me to another point, When did we as Christians lose sight of the purpose of being a Christian.

Who is worth this heaviness thats on my heart? I assure you, its not you.

And another point, I guess I just proved that I am worthy of all this bologna because I vented on my blog. Not a very Christian thing to do. Especially not the thing to do if I am going to be the wife of a minister.

But what if I don't want to be. I want to be your wife. Not the ministry's wife.

God Is Good.

All the time. And all the time, God is good.



I can't fill you in on all of the details of my life lately due to privacy issues and I'm not sure who all exactly reads this little ole blog of mine, but I just need to say that I serve one mighty and good God.



Can I get an Amen?



Again, since I can't fill you in on all the little details, I will try to fill you in on some of the bigger ones.



I was student teaching at one school and got moved to another. I went from being unsure if I really wanted to be a teacher to absoutly knowing that this is what I am supposed to do. God could have, maybe even should have, stopped with that one blessing.



But He didn't.



Not only did He move me, but he placed me in a severe/profound classroom. I am back with my sweet babies. Let me give you an over view of my class. There are 4 students in my room. I have one Down Syndrome baby, 2 babies in wheel chairs, one baby I used to work with and 3 are non-verbal. Doesn't that just sound like heaven to you? Because it does to me. It is heaven here on earth. God was too good to not only place me in a room like this but also restore my passion for my career choice.



Like I said, He is too good.



So if you were wondering on this Friday afternoon if I am satisfied. Just know that I am. I am whole again.



Thank you Jesus!

Practice Teaching

Scratch that...

Student teaching. No wait, thats not it either.

Teacher Internship. Ahhh. Thats much better! Either way, I am official. As of today, I am semi in charge of students all day at an elementary school. And I couldn't be happier. Well I possibly could if I had the energy to be.

But thats beside the point. I think more than graduation, every education major dreams of the day that we student teach. Its like, what grown-ups do, only without the bills.

(By the way, those will come for me in 60 days...the day I become a wife. Woah.)

So student teaching began with nerves. I knew I could handle it. I was born for this. But I was like a little kid about to go into the candy shop that they have been longing to go in the moment they entered the mall. The excitement and anticipation about the goodness to come are inevitable. But the ache in the bottom of your stomach that comes from uncertainty in undeniable. But I pushed through and got to school at 6:45 for carpool duty. 'Nuff said.

The day was practically flawless. I chatted with my mentor teacher all day and only got more excited about whats to come in these next few months. I met my students. I made my spot in the room. I wore a shiny new name tag. I looked official. I said looked.

But it was all that I dreamed it would be. Screaming children. Runny noses. Bathroom breaks. Thirsty mouths. And warm hearts.

It was perfect.

Two Thousand Nine Wrap-Up

Here is a list of things that I did in this past year. Some good. Some not so good.

1. I got more serious about blogging. Well not too serious, as this post is about 2 weeks after the last. Shesh, anyways. I'll just say I thought about getting better at blogging.

2. I failed this year at taking pictures. It seems like 2009 was the year of the pictures. And I squeeked by with a measly 30. What a shame.

3. I moved back in with my best. Ahh, the best. I think its important to say this is is the 4th year we have been best friends. Year #5 are you ready for us? I didn't think so.

4. I made ammends with some friends. There is nothing better than tying up some lose ends.

5. We (meaning N and I) had many successful trips and events with the youth. DNow, Camp, Fall retreat, Lock-In. They all rocked. Thank you Jesus.

6. I said good-bye to my pawpaw. Not to his face like I should have the last time I saw him at Thanksgiving, but I did in my heart.

7. And the most important for me, the man of my dreams asked me to be his bride. I am now in the year that I will marry that man.

Goodbye 2009. You were good to me.

Hello 2010. I have been waiting on you to get here for a long time. I think I'm going to like you.