Nudge. Prodding. Whisper.

I have been thinking a lot lately about helping others. Not just anybody (although I do feel that I am called to be help anyone who needs help) but homeless anybodies. Living in the land of blues and the home of rock and roll, I learned that I was going to have to get used to seeing people wandering the streets on a regular basis. It broke my heart the first time that I consciously saw it. I grew up not far from where we live now, and I have been to the homeless mission and served before but I wasn't convicted about my duty to the solution then.

Recently, I can't get that out of my mind. That being the solution. Including my role in that solution. And everytime me and N have been out and see a person with tattered clothes and holey pants, I wait. I wait to see if the Lord is going to nudge me. Prodd me. Whisper to me to do something about it. But is that how it has to be? Should I really have to be nudged by the Holy Spirit everytime I see someone in need? Am I wrong in waiting to see if I will feel that prodding in my heart? Waiting to feel my heart beat faster? Waiting to see conviction written in bold?

Lets take last night for example.

Me and N were leaving a NBA game and immediatly as we exited the door, there was a short man with a white styrofoam cup in his hand. Thats what I saw first. Then I saw him pushed and knocked side to side by passers-by while he held out a steady hand to collect whatever money he could. We were in that group. We continued walking. But I couldn't not say something to N. I told him how bad I felt for the guy and how I wish we could have atleast bought him supper. He asked if I wanted to go back. Yes. Yes, I did. So we went.

100 yds. later we found him.

Me: (Taps homeless man on the shoulder) "Hi, Are you hungry?"
Man: "I am just trying to get enough money to go to the mission."
Me: "Do you want to eat?" (Nodding in the directions of resturaunts)
N: "We want to buy you supper." (Moves his arm to offer a gentle nudge towards food)
Man: (seemingly angry) "LISTEN! I just want to get in the mission. Help me get in the mission!"
N: "We don't have any cash but we want to buy you supper. Come with us and eat."
Man: "Can you buy me some ribs?" (Still holding out his cup and insisting that he stay put, on his terms, until he filled his cup with money even more.
Me: "Sure."
Man: "Meet me at the Blues City Cafe. I will be there I promise."

Me and N walked off and headed to the cafe. I was a little preturbed at how forceful the man had been and how unappreciative he had acted towards two people offering to buy him a hot meal. He wanted ribs and he wanted them when he wanted them. I figured that if I were homeless and hungry and somone was offering me a free hot meal on a freezing cold night, I would accept it. But I walked anyways. We got to the resturaunt and waited for a bit. After thinking the same thing, we began to head to the car. We looked for him but never saw him. So we left the city and returned home.

That's where I began thinking this thought. I knew the right thing Christian thing to do would have been to wait for him to show up, forgive him for his snarky remark, and feed him dinner. But I didn't because I rationalized with myself that I didn't feel the Lord telling me to stay. I didn't feel that nudge. I couldn't sense a prodding in my direction. And I didn't hear a whisper. But should I have had to? Am I being the best follower I can be while only acting upon the Lord's gracious leadings? Or should I do it whenever I see a need. Regardless.

I think I know the answer.