Love

My child is sick. And I am a basket case about it. He just has a simple head cold but to me he is ill. So ill. His eyes are red and he has a bad cough. He has lost his voice so if his sickly cry was bad before, it's miserable now.

The other day I caught myself crying over him while rocking his sweet warm body to sleep after he had been crying. I couldn't contain myself. And the reason I was crying wasn't because my baby was sick. That was part of it yes. But not all of it.

I just couldn't quit thinking about how much the Lord loves us. He sent his own son to come to us as a baby. Fully innocent yet fully knowing. And He knew that that baby was going to have to die an agonizing death. Because He loves us. He wanted a relationship with us so bad that he was willing to see it all the way through to the death of His son. I don't like it when my baby is sick and if I could take it from him I would. The amazing part is that God didn't like it when we were sick with sin and he took it from us...by way of letting His baby die. I don't want to see my child suffer. I'm sure God didn't either, but because he loves me so much it was worth it to him. The suffering ended on the cross and we now can have a relationship with Him My son can have a relationship with Him I'm glad he saw the worth in suffering.

Until now, I haven't been able to grasp that kind of love. And now that I've gotten a glimpse of it, I am forever changed.

two months old

You are two months old. And more adorable every day.

You have really discovered who you are this month. Really in the past two weeks, actually. I love watching you make a new discovery of your body every day.

*Length*

Birth: 21.5 inches

Now: 24 inches

*Weight*

Birth: 7 lbs. 9 oz.

Now: 12 lbs. 5 oz.

*Special Talents*

You are mighty good at sticking your tongue out. That is all you want to do all day long. These days when I ask you to smile you just show me your tongue. You think that is much cooler. And while it is terribly adorable right now my love, when you are 5, you better cut it out! Do you hear me?

You are also good at poking out your bottom lip when you are upset. That makes Daddy and I just melt and do whatever you want. This better stop too young man!

You are getting very good at smiling. You haven’t perfected it yet, but I will never forget this time when you are trying your best to get all your muscle to work together to give me a big grin. Oh they are my favorite.

*Crying*

This has gotten so much better! You cry, yes, but not near as much as you once did. We switched you from cow’s milk formula to soy and you are a totally different baby! You are so much happier! We like you happy. You now cry when you have a wet diaper. You hate, and I repeat HATE, wet diapers. We go through them like hotcakes around here-except not because I would hate to compare your stinky wet diapers to something as delicious as a hot cake. One day you will get to taste of their goodness.

*Sleep*

I said it last month and I will say it again…sleep? What sleep? You are on your own little schedule and you won’t deter from it. We are up at least once a night every night for a feeding and putting binky back in your mouth. I pray every night that tonight will be the night that you go all night…maybe I need to stop. Maybe I am jinxing myself. Sleep boy, sleep. Momma is tired.

*Dislikes*

Wet diapers. Momma putting you down. Burping. Pooping. Being still. Spitting up. Having your clothes changed. Wet diapers. Getting in your car seat. Being hot. Being hungry. Getting out of the bath. Shots.

*Likes*

Smiling. Being sung to. Watching TV. Emmy (your grandmother). Your swing. Prune juice. Riding in the car. The way your daddy holds you. Eating. Binky. A clean diaper. Your changing table.

Camden,

Two months have gone by since we first met. You made me a mom and at first I was terrified. The thought, “What have I gotten myself into” went through my head daily. Now I can’t think of what I ever did before you. You have made my world complete. Everyday when I come home from work and get to hold you I fall in love over and over and over again. You are perfect. I love the fact that you are a momma’s boy. Bad. When your daddy holds you, sometimes you cry. Not because you don’t like him, but because you want me. And when I get you and you stop crying…man, my world stands still. I tell you every day how handsome you are. And you are sweet boy. You are fearfully and wonderfully made by the Lord. He cares so much about you. He watches over you day and night. We will both learn one day that Momma can’t always come and scoop you up and make it all better, but God can. He can fix anything. Rely on Him as you get older. He loves you more than I do. I know because He sent His own sweet little boy to die for you. Don’t you ever forget that.

I love you.

Mommy.

(I have borrowed the layout of my monthly posts from this adorable blog.)

The many faces of bath time

Bath time is my favorite time of the day.

I get to try out all of my faces. Some are serious.

Some are silly.

Some are shocking.

Some are puckering.

Some are “I think I just tooted.”

Some are “Yep, I definitely did!”

And the rest are pouty when mom tells me its time to get out.

Thanksgiving

Since it is almost time for Christmas I figured it was time to blog about our Thanksgiving festivities.

We were so busy this year, especially with the addition of Cam Man, and it was my last week of maternity leave. The whole week was bitter sweet. I wanted to go back to work, and yet I wanted to stay home that next week. I wanted to hold my sweet baby all through his first Thanksgiving, but I wanted to share his goodness with all the family we never see. It was a time of heavy emotions for me. But Camden seemed to have cared less.

First we started in Goatville, MS (that’s not really the name of the town but I figured my father-in-law would appreciate the title) . Tuesday night was a time of resting while Camden’s grandparents got to kiss his sweet head and aunts got to hear his coo’s. I love watching them love my son.

Then on Wednesday we headed to my mom’s parent’s house. We call it The Camp. Camden met his “aunt” Kimberly (she is really my cousin but insists she be called Aunt Kim), his other 2nd cousin Alessandra, Aunt Athena, and Uncle Mike. Granny, my grandmother, got to see him for the first time since he was one week old. I was so overwhelmed with the hustle and bustle. I am still not totally over the hormonal rollercoaster so I was on edge the whole time.

I took Camden out to get some pictures but he refused to cooperate.

He began to cry just minutes after I laid him down so this is the best we got.

Then I had to pick him up because he was screaming as it we had killed his beloved sock monkey.

This Thanksgiving, I was so thankful for the two men with me. They have my whole heart. I don’t know what life was like before I met either one.

We left Granny and Grandpa’s house Thursday after lunch and headed to my Dad’s mom’s house. This was the first time she was seeing the baby so it was extra special to me. I still tear up about her reaction to seeing her first great grandbaby. She didn’t disappoint.

Maw Maw loved that sweet baby until he was good and rotten. She stole all his kisses and then stole some more. I loved getting to see how to love as a great grandmother. I pray the Lord allows me the opportunity to practice what she showed me during that time.

4 generations. Of pure dee goodness.

On Thursday night, Nate and I earned our certificate for being nuts and we went Black Friday shopping at 10 pm. We got DVD’s, Christmas presents, and clothes. It was good to get out without the baby and feel a little wild and crazy again. We were back in the house and in bed by midnight though. We didn’t want to spoil our responsible parent reputation.

On Friday my Paw Paw’s sisters came over and gave Camden even more loving. One of them even gave him the most precious gift. That’s for a blog to come very soon but just know that I was a weeping mess when it was all over with.

Friday night we were back with Nate’s family in Goatville and were resting and recouping from all the black friday crazies.

This Thanksgiving was one I will never forget. I will never take for granted all the love that surrounds me daily. I am so blessed that I have had the chance to introduce my son to so many great people. People that I strive to be like.

It’s here!

Christmas card season that is! And this year we will be ordering from Tiny Prints. This website has some of the cutest cards that I have seen and I can’t wait for our cards to arrive so we can address those bad boys and send them out for others to see. Besides, only the cutest cards will do when we are putting a picture of the cutest baby around on them!

But I need your help picking out which one to use. I have picked out my top favorites.

Can’t you see a black and white picture of our new family of 3 on this adorable card. Plus, I am loving the touch of pink. I need some more pink in my life with these two boys around.

I love this one because we can put not one but 3 pictures of Cam Man. Winning.

Again, the black and white lures me in. Or maybe it’s the 2 cute boys.

An opportunity for 6 pictures…be still my beating heart.

And this might be my personal winner. Black and white Camden will look precious don’t you think?

So which one do you like best? I just can’t decide. And don’t forget to go to Tiny Prints and order your own Christmas cards. And let me know when you do. I will send you my address and you can ship a card my way! 

One Month Old

Camden, my love, you are one month old. Lets all take a moment to cry.

For your monthlies, I wanted to use the same board that I used on my weeklies. You didn’t want to cooperate. You get that from your daddy :)

Every time I placed the board by you, your arms went crazy. That right hand of yours was covered in blue from all the times you rubbed it over the H in month! But that’s ok- I think we got a keeper! You are getting so big and so handsome.

*Length*

Birth: 21.5 inches

Now: 22.5 inches

*Weight*

Birth: 7 lbs. 15 oz.

Now: 9 lbs.

*Special Talents*

Somehow you have mastered the “I’m going to cry my pathetic cry and get picked up in 2.5 seconds” thing. Seriously you did it just as I was typing that last sentence. Now I am holding you in my arms and typing. You have made me do a lot of usedtobenormal activities in some unconventional ways these days. I can’t stand that cry and neither can your daddy. We are suckers for your little trick.

You are also very good at (sometimes way too good at) getting poop all up your back. How do you do that?! I know I put that diaper on correctly and snuggly and somehow someway little boy- you make a huge mess. Off we go to the changing table where  you will then scream because the wipes are cold, and you will put your foot in the poop. Then we are in a heck of a mess. Times like these usually end with a trip to the bath tub.

*Crying*

As stated above, you have this thing mastered. I always get a chuckle when people say, “Oh he is such a pleasant baby.” Don’t get me wrong Bubba-you are most of the time. But between the hours of 4 and 9 pm, you have a witching spell and it makes me want to scream. You have this wah wah tone that you get going and oh it gets to me.

*Sleep*

Sleep? What sleep? You like cap naps little man. You have woken up every night at least once since your little life began. When I was nursing you, you would wake up 2-3 times at least. Now that you are on formula, we are looking at 1-2 times. Momma just wants 6 hours baby! Just six. Someday.

You do love to get in the bed with me though and cuddle cuddle cuddle. I will hold your tiny body against mine and off to dreamland we go together. Nothing is better than drifting off with the smell of you under my nose. Its heaven I tell ya.

*Dislikes*

You don’t like to be still for very long. You are a mover and a shaker. Just like you were in utero.

You also don’t like to have your nose sucked. You act as if you are having the surgery again. Its not that bad son. Things will only get harder in life…appreciate the days when someone blew your nose for you!

You don’t like to spit up, poop, or have hiccups. Any type of bodily function is your worst nightmare.

*Likes*

I am happy to report that  you love your mama. I think I have a mama’s boy on my hands and I am not complaining.

You also like for your daddy to sing to you while dancing you around. Its that sweetest thing that I have seen. He loves you to the moon Bubs.

You like motion. The bigger the swing the better. When we put you in your car seat you fuss until we swing it like crazy. You must go so high that if you weren’t buckled in you would fall out. I can’t wait to ride roller coasters with you.

Camden,

I can't believe that it has been a month since you were born into this world. Since then I have been busy loving for you, praying for you, and taking care of you. You are a full time job, but I wouldn't have it any other way. You have turned mine and daddy's world upside down in every good way possible. I love the way that your chin sinks in your face. I get giddy when I think about the fact that I see my Pawpaw in your cheeks, my brother in your feet, and your daddy in your nose. You have a little piece of all of my favorite people. Sweet boy, you are my favorite man in my life (besides your daddy of course). You have made me strive to be a better person and a stronger Christian. I know your little eyes will be watching and mimicking all I do one day. I want it all to be Kingdom focused. Above all, I want you to know that Jesus loves you. More than you will ever know.

With all my heart,

Momma

favorites

I promise I am gearing up to make my blogging return but until then I hope you will enjoy these as much as I do!

Welcome To the world

Camden is here!

I have had the hardest time starting this post because I can’t quite find the words to describe my experience of entering into motherhood.

I will just start by telling the story. Because I don’t want to forget.

On Monday Oct. 3, I went into my doctor’s office because I was feeling a little off. Not sure of what was exactly wrong with me, I just knew that something wasn’t right. They did the routine pee in a cup, weight, and blood pressure thing and that’s when we found it. My blood pressure was up. It wasn’t high to most people, but for me, who normally has a pretty low “normal” blood pressure, it was high. The doctor I saw (my regular OB was on vacay) said that she wanted to watch me in the hospital for a few hours on some monitors and to run some blood work. I was totally freaked out. I called Nate as the nurse wheeled me across the property to the hospital. He freaked out. Within 15 minutes, he was by my side.

I stayed in the hospital that night because my BP was going nowhere and I couldn’t shake a headache that I had. That was a bad night.

The doctor discharged me the next day with orders to make an appointment at my office to see another doctor to have my BP checked. When I went in that morning my BP was still up so it was strict orders of bed rest for me. I had my regular appointment with my regular doctor scheduled for the next day so on Thursday, it was round 3 for me! I was exhausted in every way by this point. My doctor said that he thought I had a virus and to remain on bed rest. Now if you know anything about me, you know that bed rest might as well have been a prison sentence. It was miserable.

I was back in the office on Monday the 10th. This time my blood pressure was sky high. So after a week of bed rest not working, my doctor said what I had been waiting to hear. It was time to induce. I called Nate frantically, and he was on his way. All of the family members were informed and were ecstatically loading up to come meet baby.

By 10 am I was in a hospital gown, hooked up to all the monitors, and was being prepped for an IV.

 Believe me when I say that this happy face changed as the day went on.

After 3 tries and almost passing out I was hooked up to pitocin and my water had been broken. Labor was on its way.

And I had one nervous and anxious papa going through it with me.

Family and friends slowly trickled in to offer their support. But labor was going nowhere. It could have been the fact that my body knew my parents had been camping in Kentucky and had to load up and pull the trailer back as fast as possible. Or the fact that nothing in the pregnancy had gone easily so why did I think that labor would.

After spending 6 hours at 4 centimeters and my epidural wearing off (Thank you Ash for holding my hand through this part) my doctor told me that we were looking at the possibility of a C-Section. I cried. I did not want a C-Section. I wanted to give birth to this child the way that I had mentally prepared. And I guess he wanted to come when he heard the word surgery because labor picked up. 

At about 8:30 we were told that it was time to push and my family was asked to leave. I was so excited to be so close to meeting the child that had been living inside of me for 9 months.

This is the look of exhaustion plus joy at the fact that baby boy is on his way!

After about 30 minutes of good pushing, the doctor was called in and all of the tables were set up. The room became very busy.

At 9:33 on October 10, Camden was born. I became a mother and Nathan became a father. And I flel more in love with Jesus for giving me this precious gift than I had ever had before.

In that moment, I became whole.

After he was born, all of the family got to come back in and we spent about an hour passing him around and sharing in his precious goodness.

 

And we settled into being a family of three.

I could not tell you in words how I am changed. My life now has meaning, and my purpose is revealed. I look at the gospel totally different. There is no way that I could give my baby up to die, but God did. Oh how he loves you and me. He loves us enough to let a precious boy be born like my sweet one only to die to cover our sins. That’s love.

Camden, your mommy and daddy are mad about you.