Our First Christmas: Part Busy

This year's Christmas has been anything but Silent Nights and boughs of holly. Instead, it is more like holiday parties and frantic schedules. And it has lead me to be in a total bah humbug mood. Which stinks because I love love love Christmas. And my birthday. Which happens to fall on the 17th of this month. But I was too much of a grinch to enjoy it.

This just these past two weeks we have approximately:

Attended 5 Christmas gatherings
Eaten way too much food at those gatherings
Spent too much money on presents
Kissed under the miseltoe (Actually not, because my pup chewed it up)
Driven over 500 miles
Been late to 3 of those 5 parties
Loved on family
Prayed for our (future) babies
Cried over stress (everyday, more than 3 times a day)
Fell in and out of love with my job (still waiting to fall back in love with it)
Reconciled some things with a best friend
Wrapped those overly-priced presents
Had Christmas with my family
Attended a wedding
Etc. Etc. Etc.

It may not seem that bad but, people we all need to have a group prayer for N for putting up with me. I have been one crazy woman these days. I have been the grinch of all grinches and maybe even more on some days. I don't handle busy very well and, well-this has been too busy. Apparently, I am in such a tizzy that I can't write a coherent, creative post. Woe is me.

Bucketlist

I have been thinking lately and I have decided that  life is too short to not have goals. So I sat down and made a bucket list. I am sure it will be ever-growing but for now, these are the things that I would like to accomplish in my short little life.

Be a bridesmaid in someone's wedding

Get another tattoo

Record a song on a CD (I can't sing but it would still be fun.)

Have a baby

Go on a foreign mission trip

Be a best friend/ Have a best friend

Donate hair to Locks of Love

Take "trash the dress" pictures

Own a D-SLR camera and know how to use it

Adopt a baby/ Be a foster parent

Take a picture in front of the Eiffle Tower

Take part in a prison ministry

Teach Severe/Profound students

Open my own boutique

Memorize 50 Bible verses

I think that this is where it is going to end for right now. I have so many things that I want to do in life and I may not get to them all but I sure want to try.

Nudge. Prodding. Whisper.

I have been thinking a lot lately about helping others. Not just anybody (although I do feel that I am called to be help anyone who needs help) but homeless anybodies. Living in the land of blues and the home of rock and roll, I learned that I was going to have to get used to seeing people wandering the streets on a regular basis. It broke my heart the first time that I consciously saw it. I grew up not far from where we live now, and I have been to the homeless mission and served before but I wasn't convicted about my duty to the solution then.

Recently, I can't get that out of my mind. That being the solution. Including my role in that solution. And everytime me and N have been out and see a person with tattered clothes and holey pants, I wait. I wait to see if the Lord is going to nudge me. Prodd me. Whisper to me to do something about it. But is that how it has to be? Should I really have to be nudged by the Holy Spirit everytime I see someone in need? Am I wrong in waiting to see if I will feel that prodding in my heart? Waiting to feel my heart beat faster? Waiting to see conviction written in bold?

Lets take last night for example.

Me and N were leaving a NBA game and immediatly as we exited the door, there was a short man with a white styrofoam cup in his hand. Thats what I saw first. Then I saw him pushed and knocked side to side by passers-by while he held out a steady hand to collect whatever money he could. We were in that group. We continued walking. But I couldn't not say something to N. I told him how bad I felt for the guy and how I wish we could have atleast bought him supper. He asked if I wanted to go back. Yes. Yes, I did. So we went.

100 yds. later we found him.

Me: (Taps homeless man on the shoulder) "Hi, Are you hungry?"
Man: "I am just trying to get enough money to go to the mission."
Me: "Do you want to eat?" (Nodding in the directions of resturaunts)
N: "We want to buy you supper." (Moves his arm to offer a gentle nudge towards food)
Man: (seemingly angry) "LISTEN! I just want to get in the mission. Help me get in the mission!"
N: "We don't have any cash but we want to buy you supper. Come with us and eat."
Man: "Can you buy me some ribs?" (Still holding out his cup and insisting that he stay put, on his terms, until he filled his cup with money even more.
Me: "Sure."
Man: "Meet me at the Blues City Cafe. I will be there I promise."

Me and N walked off and headed to the cafe. I was a little preturbed at how forceful the man had been and how unappreciative he had acted towards two people offering to buy him a hot meal. He wanted ribs and he wanted them when he wanted them. I figured that if I were homeless and hungry and somone was offering me a free hot meal on a freezing cold night, I would accept it. But I walked anyways. We got to the resturaunt and waited for a bit. After thinking the same thing, we began to head to the car. We looked for him but never saw him. So we left the city and returned home.

That's where I began thinking this thought. I knew the right thing Christian thing to do would have been to wait for him to show up, forgive him for his snarky remark, and feed him dinner. But I didn't because I rationalized with myself that I didn't feel the Lord telling me to stay. I didn't feel that nudge. I couldn't sense a prodding in my direction. And I didn't hear a whisper. But should I have had to? Am I being the best follower I can be while only acting upon the Lord's gracious leadings? Or should I do it whenever I see a need. Regardless.

I think I know the answer.

Our First Christmas: Part Tree

This Christmas is mine and the hubs first Christmas together as a married couple. We have had about 4 together as a couple but since we had a long distance relationship for most of our time together, we never got to indulge or take part of traditions.

So this year, because we could, we decided to start our own. Because one day we will have children and we will want to have something unique for them to look forward to. It started this year with the tree. Oh, the tree.

Our first "couple" ornament.

Not long after we were happily wed we brought up the conversation of Christmas. Where we would spend the holidays and what we would get people were among the conversation, but those were dimmed by the radiance and importance of the tree. The debate began. Real or artificial? That was the question.

Mr. Russell grew up with a live tree every year. He and his family lived in the country on a lot of land. With goats. Do you have that picture in your head? They totally had a real tree every year. It just fit. Warm and cozy kind of home, warm and cozy kind of tree.

I grew up in the city. If you know where I am from you might get a chuckle from referring to my hometown as a city but when comparing it to the groom's homestead, it is a metropolitan. We always had a fake tree. It was just what we did. And I loved it. Easy set up, beautiful for 25+ days, and easy take down. What is not to love.

Case in point. We both grew up in very different households. And we both wanted to carry on our traditions.So after much debating and considering, I gave in. Write that down folks. It may never be written down again. So real tree it is in our house this year. And it may be the last.

This tinsel is my favorite part of the tree.

Yesterday N had the night off and we went to the most precious place called Merry Christmas Tree Farm. We walked down to the plethora of Leyland cypress trees, pines, and North Carolina furs. After about 30 minutes of finding the perfect tree and walking away to find another perfect tree (and repeat) we finally settled on a mighty fine one. She's a beauty. Once we decided, we had her chopped, shaken, and strapped to our car and we were on our way. Once home, we were ready to get her up and settled in.

A souveiner from our honeymoon to Disney World.

Another 30 minutes passed and she was in her stand and being decorated. We were loving our new start to traditions. Christmas music was on, Starbucks was in hand, and everything was almost perfect. Once the star was placed on top we snuggled her into her new home in the corner. We both took a seat to enjoy our masterpiece and I thought to myself, This is one of the prettiest trees I have ever seen. She is going to be the envy of all the little elves eyes.

There are even green birdies in our tree.

And squirrels. 

That thought came crashing down right when the tree did. Thats right. Our beautiful, perfect in every way tree was on its side with the star pointing straight at me instead of the ceiling where it belonged. All I could do was put my hands over my eyes and try to convince myself that it was a dream. Or a nightmare. I finally pinched myself hard enough to snap out of it and got up to help my husband stand up our toppled tree. No big deal, right? Wrong. Remember we had a real tree...that means we had previously put water into its basin. That water was everywhere now. I was mad. All I could say was, This would have never happened if we had gotten a FAKE tree.

And even peacock feathers that were left over from our wedding reception.

After some huffing and puffing on both of our parts, we got the ornaments picked up, the water sopped up, and the tree stood back up. But thats where it ended. We were tired.

And what tree is complete without a star perfectly placed on top. 

So today after school, we put the ornaments back on the tree. Our first Christmas tree. But not before we tied some rope to 3 bricks and then to the tree to hold her stubborn butt up. And then we kissed. I like that part of this new tradition. And I have to say, she is full of splendor. Would you like to see?

 She is just grand isn't she. I am in love. 

Rescue

Today I sat in church and in front of me was this little girl sitting with her 4 member family. It was no time before she did what all little kids do in church when they have sat still long enough...

She mosied on down to the ground and pulled out some toys from her bag. Among the books and crayons she took out, 2 toys were her focus the whole service. A princess doll and a boy doll. It was so sweet. I am intrigued as to how girls as young as she know that boys and girls belong together. But not just that...

She played and played and played and then I tuned in to what she was actually doing- she was making the girl fall off the edge of her chair and then that dashing young plastic man came to her rescue. The little girl would hold the fair maiden in limbo with one hand while she outstretched the guys arms out to be ready to catch his beloved with her other. I was over come with emotions.

I wanted so badly to crawl down on the floor with her and whisper to her this...

Sweet girl...there is a man who loves you as much as this plastic prince charming loves his molded maiden. His name is Jesus and he did the same thing for you as the boy did for the girl on the edge of your chair. You see, we all mess up. You are so young you have lots of mistakes to make, but the glorious thing about it is that man named Jesus covered them. Instead of you falling off of a chair edge time and time again, you sin. And instead of him jumping off to save you in a heroic bound, He did something different. With arms outstretched still, He was nailed to a tree and took all of the bad that you will ever do and swallowed it. So you keep playing with these two dolls. Continue to send that boy after the girl each and every time she falls. But always remember, the same feat has already been performed for you. You are rescued. And you are loved. You are held in outstretched hands. And every time you fall you will be caught.

What a beautiful story. I am so glad that i have a Savior who saves me daily. I rest in the fact that I am loved by the only man with outstretched arms who will never fail. Won't you be a part of this fairy tale love story too?

We're Expecting...

Something soon. But not a baby. sigh. And hopefully it will come a lot sooner than 9 months. But before I continue, there is a small disclaimer...please sign below before you continue. 

*Remember this is my blog and I write to remember my life. If you think I shouldn't write about things like this, then please direct yourself to the red X at the top right of your screen.

**This post talks about gas. And bowels. And tears. And even a baby. So if you don't want to hear me vent on my blog then again, please have the satisfaction of pushing the red X. 

______________________________________________

This is where you sign. 

Ok, so if you have seen me lately and noticed that I had gained a few pounds, I have. I am having some medical issues in the form of a clogged bowel system. If that didn't sound painful then let me explain myself. I have so much air built up in my system that I am too bloated to wear any form of pants that button. I am not a go-to-the-doctor kind of girl but I have been in so much pain that I drug my expanding self on in. The doctor wasn't sure what all was going on so he suggested an x-ray. If I wasn't nervous before, I was then. 

The x-ray tech does her thing and sends me on out. 5 minutes later the doc comes back in and tells me that he has never seen anything like it. My bowels are completely backed up. Cram packed. Stuffed. Which causes air build up. Which was causing terrible indigestion. No wonder I was so miserable. 

Today I went to school for the first time since I have felt so bad. The students saw my expanding belly and in all their sweet innocence they questioned, "Mrs. Russell, are you pregnant today. You look pregnant today. Why is your stomach so big if you aren't pregnant." 

Do you know how hard it is to long to be pregnant, to want to carry a child, and then to be asked if you are pregnant. Because you are so big in the mid-section. But instead the only thing inside is a belly full of gas. And indigestion. And a breaking heart. 

I wanted to scream, "NO I AM NOT PREGNANT. I AM FAT BECAUSE I HAVE A CLOGGED BOWEL SYSTEM." 

But instead I kindly explained the situation the best I could and added the fact that I was very uncomfortable and would need to be sitting down more than normal. But all I really wanted to do was cry. 

So I managed at school but can I just vent some more. 

OK thank you. 

And I understand that this is the worst blog I have ever written ,but when all I can feel are air bubbles moving around in my gut, I think I have an excuse to be discombobulated. 

I have now forgotten what I wanted to vent about. 

So yes we are expecting. A delivery. With the help of 3 laxatives. A big delivery. And I am not ashamed to talk about it. I have no modesty. That went out the door a long time ago. (Sunday as a matter of fact...when all this started.)

Now if you will excuse me, I am about to go wallow in my own pity. And drink another laxative. 

Sheesh. 

The Post In Which I Talk About My Husband

The reason that I am writing this is because I told N that I wasn't sleepy. I said I wanted to blog but I had nothing to blog about. So he casually said, "Blog about me." How in the world am I supposed to resist an invitation such as that! Yeow! 

This leads me to tell you the story of our relationship....

The man with me in the above picture is my husband. When he was my boyfriend. 

We have both changed a lot since then.

1. We have both cut our hair.

2. He doesn't wear a necklace anymore.

3. The hat on his head is now at least 3 times lighter. And 20 times stinkier.

 (I think I have it hidden from him)

4. I am not that tan. 

5. His face isn't that skinny. I will blame my cooking on that one.

Below is where is all began. Camp Lake Stephens. Oxford, MS. 

This was a camp for special needs adults. I was a budding college freshman and he was a bachelor of a sophomore. (When I say bachelor, he was a very fresh bachelor. When I say fresh I mean he was stilltalkingtotheexonthephoneatthiscamp fresh.) Don't judge me for pouncing on a hot Christian guy when I could. Sista should have treated him better. Or not. Because then I wouldn't have him. So thank you Ex. I owe it all to you maybe a teeny weeny fraction of a decimal to you. The rest goes to God's divine plan. 

MSU. My Alumni. 

We dated for 3 1/2 years. Two of those we were at all times at least an hour away from each other. Some of that time we were 2 hours away from each other. That made for a lot of phone time. And tears. And getting to know each other more than we otherwise probably would have. Looking back on it, I wouldn't have had it any other way. We are the couple we are because of that time. During these 3 1/2 years...

HE...

1. Worked as a youth minister intern

2. Took me hunting 1 too many times

3. Surrendered to the ministry

4. Made me pee my pants from laughing so hard at his crazy antics

5. Made me love him more than I knew was possible. 

6. Became a real-life minister

7. Graduated college.

I...

1. Took classed to become a Special Education teacher

2. Worked at the same church he has a year before as a youth intern

3. Prayed that a certain red headed boy would find it in his heart to marry a blond (by the box) headed girl.

4. Entertained the thought of being a girl's youth minister. And just as fast dismissed it. 

5. Moved 3 times. 

6. Loved on this lady.

After a lot of this, and even more face to face begging and pleading and discussing our future...I became the luckiest girl in the world. 

And the madness began. I immediately planned a wedding while he so sweetly nodded his head when appropriate and acted as he is cared when I needed him to. He was such a wonderful fiance. He even took precious pictures with me. See...

Isn't he handsome. I think so. I hope our children look like him. 

 

9 months later, the day that I longed for all my life came true. That boy really married me.

And marriage has been the best thing that I have ever experienced this. 

As I write this in bed, the man of my dreams, the father of our future children, my soul mate and best friend lies next to me. Asleep. Peaceful. 

That is our relationship. Peaceful. Rest. 

There is no way in the world that I could ever describe the love that we share for each other. And some things I don't want to share because they belong to just us. But I will share this...

Love, when ordained and willed by God is perfect and whole. I am so glad I had my heart broken so many times before N. If I hadn't experienced loss and pain, I would have never know what it is like to be this whole. Our journey has been long. It has had so many ups and downs. It is crazy at times. But it is perfect. Absolutely perfect. 

My husband is Wicked!

Tuesday was a bad day at school. I felt like I had lost my touch as a good teacher. My kids were moody and I was cranky. It was no fun. But I clung to the fact that N had asked me the day before if we could go on a date Tuesday night. Ummm, hello....yes we can go on a date.

Before I left for school that day I had a hunkering to do something for N because he is always so good at putting  up with my shenanigans. That led me to purchasing a 5 pack of tickets to see the Memphis Grizzlies play...including the game against the Miami Heat. (Am I a good wife, or am I a good wife!)

I couldn't wait to get home to share with him what I bought. I was so proud of my self. He was stoked when I told him. I was happy to make him happy.

Then he told me that he wanted to downtown to eat. I wasn't in the mood that night to drive all that way and walk to a restaurant. I am a teacher. Come 4 o'clock I am tired of walking. Then he, in all of his wonderful husbandness, pulled out two tickets to the Broadway play, Wicked! Oh. my. Gosh. I flipped. Of course I wanted to go walk downtown and eat with my splendid hubs and then walk to Wicked. Did I say I was tired? Psshh...What do I look like? A sissy? I was ready to run a marathon.

On our way to Downtown. Isn't he precious. 

In 2.5 seconds I mastered the poof and got my teacher clothes off and my night out with the groomie clothes on, and we were off.

We ate at Spaghetti Warehouse and it was wonderful. Then for dessert we had Elphaba, Galenda, and the Oz himself. They were scrumptious. I cannot wait to see it again. Because I will.

Glinda and Elphaba

I love that we have such a fun marriage. We both were thinking of each other and how to do something for the other person that we ourselves don't necessarily enjoy. Because if you know anything about us, my man is not a musical man.

Us at the beautiful Orpheum theatre. 

It was perfect. Just like him. Ahhh. I am so very lucky.

Decide.

You have to decide to love someone. Did you know that? Well you do! Me and N just learned that. I think that we have just exited the stage in which everything was rosey and we were perfectly smitten with each other.

Its over. And while it may return for a short visit every now and again, we better get used to this new stage in our marriage together. In our love together. In our lives together.

The stage titled: Decide.

This past week, well not this one but the last, me and N had the worst fight ever. Now while I am in no way, shape, or form proud to admit that we are not perfect what we seem, I admit it because, well, we aren't what we seem. We have both always prided ourselves in the fact that we get along so easy. We never argue or even tiff. We just jive together. Its so natural.

But not last week. We tiffed, argued,  ok, so we flat out fought. It was not pretty to see. We were both so ugly and we were down right mean to each other. And we did what we were always told not to to-we went to bed mad. Bad mistake. Bad, bad mistake. The next morning we woke up and the tension was rough. It wasn't as sharp as the night before but it had time to stew and simmer and marinate. And it was gross.

All day we ignored each other through text. When I got home we acted like everything was normal, but the tension between us said otherwise. And then the best part of marriage happened...

We went to bed. And while I laid beside the man I fell in love with acting as if everything was OK, he reached over and touched my skin.

I melted. It was as if I was stone turned liquid under his touch. I began to cry and pour my heart and all of my feeling out. I was very vulnerable. As good as it is sometimes to spill all that you feel, it can be embarrassing. And thats when he said it. The thing that I will cling to until death do I part...

Love is a decision. 

I have never thought about that before. I knew up until that week that I was so deep in puppy love that he was everything to me, but I don't think I ever had to decide to love before. But after he said it and I gave it a minutes thought, I knew that he was so right. If we were going to make this marriage work we are going to have to decide to love each other. After the I Do's and butter creme cake, love is different. It is walking hand and hand through the tough. Through the ugly. Through the gross. And through the decisions. The biggest of which being deciding to love each other.

And I would be a fool to have a lesson like this happen in my life and not thank my Sweet Jesus for deciding to love me. He didn't have to cover my sins on that cross, and He doesn't have to bathe me in grace daily. But He does. He chooses to love me. Just like the sweet man does that I married on that cloudy March day.

Milk

This week me and N both got paid so we decided to take ourselves out to eat. We never do anything really special so we went downtown to see if anything hit our fancy.

We were driving into the metropolis and for once in my life I was not applying lip gloss in the visor mirror or changing the station. Nope. My eyes were free to see a man. A homeless man.

Digging. In. A. Garbage. Can.

We happened to be stopped at a red light so I had approximately 2 minutes to jump out of the car and help him. Instead, I just watched. I watched him stick the whole length of his arm into a filthy Memphis garbage can and pull something out. The something was a pint of milk. He looked at it and then he shook it and then he set it down on the rim.

He shuttered before going back in to see what else the garbage can had to offer and then he stopped. He went back to the milk. He grabbed it in his aged, weary hands and proceeded to take the top off.

Next, he smelled the milk.

He made a sour face as would anyone if they smelled milk that had come from a garbage can. I can only image how long it had been there. He capped the milk but he was thirsty. So thirsty that he removed the cap one more time and raised the jug to his lips.

The light turned green and N pulled away. I was on a date with the man who holds my heart but at that moment my heart with on a street corner with a man holding a glass of rotten milk.

I couldn't contain myself and began weeping for the man. Why was he there for me to see? What did God want to teach me from that? What is my duty as a Christian to aid the situation.

After I composed myself and apologized to N 1,000 times for crying over spilt rotten milk, I fell in love with him all over again. He said to me, "Do you want to go find him and invite him to dinner?" The tears returned as I said yes. So the search for the barren man began.

It still haunts to say it, but we did not find him. I kept praying over and over that the Lord would guide my footsteps straight to him. Or him to me. He had my heart and  I wanted it back just wanted to get to know the man who captured it while digging in filthy trash. But no such luck. So me and N continued on with our original plans...to have dinner. With each other. And while it was wonderful to spend time with my own prince charming, I wanted to share the story of a Prince of Peace to another man.

I am not sure why I experienced what we did that evening but I haven't been able to forget about it. I have prayed constantly for the man. I want to know that he didn't drink that milk. I want to know if he has received compassion from another Christian.

If I never understand that particular experience, I do understand the lesson that it taught me.

From today until my very last, I will pounce on every opportunity I am offered to help someone out. No matter what it takes. Especially if it means jumping out of a car door at a red light to offer to replace a jug of spoiled milk with the Gospel of Grace.

100

Today is my 100th post. I am in a terrible mood. I am angry at my husband and am lacking a best friend. My life up to this point is not what I thought it would be. I want it to change.

But it won't. It is like an endless circle. Over and over it stinks. It stinks over and over.

I am signing off before I write something hateful that I will regret. I need to learn to vent somewhere else. You don't need to listen to this.

Signed,
the grumpy party pooper.

All Work And No Play...Makes Me a Slacker

This past week at school was Homecoming. I had the best time seeing everyone dressed up daily and being goofy but it wore me slap out. I was so tired that I couldn't even keep my promise to myself that I would blog everyday for one week. I was on a roll until one day...I got in trouble with the principal. I won't go into the whole story for confidentiality purposes but long story short- sharing the gospel in a classroom is a bad idea. I am still having a time getting over it. I don't ever want to be embarrassed for sharing who my Lord is, but Satan had his way in that battle and this little girl can't seem to get the tail untucked from in between my legs. My pride is bruised. 

And on top of that I am a sponsor of the sophomores in our school. I love them to death but its hard to enjoy homecoming hall decorations. We worked for a month 2 days a week getting stuff ready for the big reveal. And Thursday night was the big night. We had 3 hours to hang and assemble all the we had prepared. So we were off! 

This is the Freshmen hall. Their decorated their hall like London and it was cute! 

Notice the phone booth and double decker bus!

This was the Senior hall. Their hall was Beijing, China. And they rocked it out.

They even had bowls of fortune cookies! 

And this was my pride and joy. We had Brazil! So we made our hall into a rain forest.

Check out the massive tree. He was my brain child. I said He women as never as stubborn as it was to make. 

We had a village!

And vines galore. I may be biased but I think we should have won. 

**The Juniors decorated their hall also, but they did Hollywood and blacked out their hall so my iphone wouldn't take good pictures. 

Next in my bust weekend was a trip to God's favorite place, Starkville. 

It was so good to feel like a college student again. I think I told N that 1,000 times. 

Jason Mraz put on a free concert Friday night and I was not a fan. I love his music but he played only boring stuff. Boooo. 

All the boys. I was the only girl all weekend with 8 boys. I deserve an award for this. 

 Me and the hubs enjoying our first State game as a married couple. 

 I love being a Mrs. 

Orville Reddenbacher is No Chef

This is what I had for lunch today. Isn't that just sad.

My stomach says so.

Foey.

P.S. I was reading blogs on my lunch break. Its what I do to take a break from kiddos.

Whao Whao Stuck Like Glue

I love this song! Or maybe just the video. Because it is so funny. I especially love the part where she puts a white girl twist on this song by the black of all beautiful black girls. So it was in my head and I had to, just had to, use it as my title. You are so welcome if it is in your head now.

OK, so my picture(s) of the day...

The first is of my lovely hubs. Some people call him a youth pastor but I like to call him Rev. Rock. Oh. My. Gosh. I crack myself up!

*Just for myself here...as I type this he is actually putting up dishes out of the dishwasher. I think I am going to sit here and fake typing as long as I can so maybe he will just keep cleaning more things. Shhh...don't tell him.

Next picture: I am not sure if you will appreciate this as much as me but I finally mastered the poofy poney tail. It is kindof hard to tell in this picture but it's there, I promise it is. I took this this morning before school (yes, I am in jeans. I teach at a rocking awesome school and this week is homecoming week =jeans all week for teachers!!!) and I got to sport that poof all day. I think Beth Moore would be proud. You know what she says, the higher the hair, the closer to God!  I can feel you sweet Jesus!

Over and out.
W.

Ok So....

I am not good with sticking to things in my life. I start stuff one day and the next day I am done. I am  out of control when it comes to getting ideas in my head, going out and buying all the supplies and then never doing anything with them.

*You would understand better if you could see all of the Disney World scrapbook items in my house, including the most adorable book, just sitting there. Pretty. Wrapped up. Untouched.
**Or all of the wedding frames groomie and I collected in our wedding season. They are all sitting out beautifully around my house. With pictures of other people. They are nice looking people, but they not me nor my handsome hubs. I have just never gotten around to actually putting pictures of us in them.

So I am vowing to you, that I am starting something. Today. Here and Now. I am going to blog daily with a picture from my day.

I am going to start small at first. One week. Just one picture (or maybe two if need be) to describe my day. Don't you want to join me? It will help me keep the goal if I see your posts up daily too!

 So lets start this thing off right.

Here is me. I wore boots and a scarf for the first time this "Fall" season. September is fall to me. I don't care what you say. I pray that the cool weather gods (except that I don't do that) are looking down in love on my outfit and are sending me more days like today.

Now it is your turn. Let's see what you did today!

Cured

Thanks to this little man and his unbelievable cuteness, baby fever is cured. For now. Amen.

I know I forgot to tell my maybe 2 followers that me and N added to our new family in April. We bought this little guy and his name is Oliver and he is the wild man of the house. So thanks be to him who has cured my fever.

I Want A Baby

I know. Before you start lecturing about how we should wait and we just got married and we can't afford a family and its crazy to think that we could support a baby right now... know that this is my blog and I can write what I want to write.

Above any and all other things in my life, I have always known that I wanted to be a mom. I feel called to be a mom. I think that I will be good at being a mom.

For some reason lately I have felt bad. I have had indigestion, a lower back ache, headaches, and even nausia. One morning before work I had to run to the bathroom for fear of loosing my cookies.

So naturally I thought to myself, "Oh good gravy, I do believe these are all symptoms that I have heard other women talk about while they were pregnant."

So I did what all women do when they get the pregnant thought in their head-I got my husband to go to the store and get a pregnancy test.

I took it. And it was negative. I wiped a few tears from my eyes and came out of the bathroom acting as if a test had never entered my house. But my heart ached. No baby. For me. Now.


So the next day we went to a church function and someone came up to me and asked if I was pregnant. My heart told me to say, "Nope. Just fat." But what I really said was, "Ha! No, why?"

He proceeded to say that he overheard me and some of the other guests talking about babies and thought that I may have told that I was preggers.

I explained the situation with a smile on my face but I was trying to cover up the fact that I felt like I had just been hit in the gut with a baseball bat.

Its not easy wanting a baby so bad but having to tell others that one does not exist.

I know that the time will come, I know this. But I want a baby. And I want one now.


And end pity party Now.

There is so much to say...

And I don't even know where to begin.

So I will start with the only thing I do know,
and that is that I have one amazing husband. In a world that is ever changing, he is my one constant.

Where we were, we will call it 'O', some things happened in a church that should never happen. The leadership was wavering and hypocritical. It was hard to see God work in a church when the right people wanted the wrong things.

So me and N began to look for a way out. We forced some things and spent all our energy on wasted desires.

But we knew all along that without God's blessing and will we would get no where.
So we surrendered. We threw our hands up and said, "Ok God. We will stay here. We will do our best to mend the issues here, and we will be joyful about it. I said joyful-not happy."

And thats when it happened. God opened every single door that we were trying to open ourselves. It was amazing to see. He wanted the same things for us that we wanted-He just wanted to be the One to make it happen.

You see, if we had succeeded with OUR plan then we would have failed. We would have given ourselves the credit and somewhere down deep we would have forgotten to rely on Him. But the instant that we gave the reigns back to him, He provided all. Man, we serve a good good God.

So His plan for our lives right now involved moving to a city we will call 'M'. Its in Tennessee and its the home of all things Elvis.

N is still a youth minister but in a totally different venue than we left.

And I, I am a teacher. I teach high schoolers and I teach them math and english. Its a joy.

So that is where we are. We are doing our best to navigate life as newlyweds in an everchanging world. But praise sweet Jesus that He gave me a man that is constant. Never swerving. Focused on His will. And patient and forgiving.

He, N, is the second thing that has kept me happy during all this. And because my sweet savior decided to show us His will for us, He is the first thing.

Ch.Ch. Ch. Changes

Just like the seasons, change is inevitable. I have come to realize that. Especially in this season of my life. No pun intended. Big changes are taking place for us and I am very excited about them. I am excited about the future.

But I also wonder what will this season hold?
A baby?
A new house?
A splendid job?
New friends?

There is so much left unanswered but I know this much:

There is a time for everything. A season for every activity under heaven.

-Ecclesiastes 3:1

Monday Morning Meeting

As the hubs went off to his office this morning for staff meeting I thought I would have a meeting of my own. On here. With myself. Unless you choose to attend.

Topics to discuss...
1. Independance Day Happenings
2. Chores to be done
3. My latest desire
4. My latest baby name

Let do this thing...

1. Independance Day...me and N spend this Independance day with ourselves. Not technically with just ourselves but with no other immediate family. It was a little strange. Our 4th consisted of going to church (our church sings that song in which all the branches of the US military are acknowledged...I know, I am pathetic but I don't know the name...anyways-that song always gives me the chills because as the choir sings the men and women represented stand with pride and bask in their recognition. I simply love it). After church, we cooked lunch and then headed out to "The Park". The local place where everyone swims and hangsout. We stayed until dark and watched a fabulous display of fireworks. In my opinion it lasted 20 fireworks too long but all the kids loved it. So it was worth it.

2. My chores for today consist of cleaning my kitchen (which absoutly never stays clean), feeding my sweet animals, washing clothes, sweep the floors, go grocery shopping, and plan a back yard bible club for our community. Its going to be a full day.

3. My lastest desires these days are a sewing maching and a super sweet camera. One that can take pictures like hers. I am jealous. I told Nate that we had to buy one as soon as we start a family. I guess I will just have to be patient. I want a sewing maching that can sew lots of cool stitches and even do a little monogramming. Can I sew you ask...why Heavens NO! But that doesn't mean a girl can't dream.

4. And the biggest and the best... my latest baby name.

Carolyn Elaine

Darling right? Let me explain...My dad's middle name is Carroll. My mom's name is MaryLYN. Nate's mom's middle name is Aleine. Elaine is more my style. So with one name we include 3 grandparents! I am loving it.

And with that our meeting is concluded. I hope you enjoyed our time together. See ya soon.

A busy girl and a big birthday shout-out!

I feel like this summer has been a whirlwind of events, camps, vacation, preparation to be a teacher, and being a wife (which, of course is the best.)

So far I have attended 2 camps, been on one 1 week trip to Gulf Shores, been to Nashville for 1 amazing concert, seen kids 500 different times, planned the layout of my future room at least 3 bazillion times in my head, washed 900 of my own dishes, taken 2 of my 3 animals to the vet in which I spent $236, packed-unpacked- and washed 4 times, been to Louisiana 2 times, unpacked 3 more boxes of wedding gifts, kissed my husband many times, and plenty more. But I will spare you. So thats the reason why I haven't written.

But before I go I want to wish the best a best birthday wish. Ashley Nicole McGee...You are my hero...Can I be you when I grow up? I am the luckiest girl in the world to have this little lady as my partner in crime, my maid of honor, my past roomie, my soul sister, my accountability, my future children's auntie, and just my friend. I promise I never take for granted what I have in her. And even though we are miles away, our hearts are together beat by beat.

I love you, ANM.

Baby Names

Not that there is any reason for me to be thinking of baby names...because there isn't. But it is awful fun to think of what I will actually name my son or daughter if/when God does decide to bless us.

I have been doing a lot of Baby Name thinking here lately, definately not because I want a baby. No thats not it. OK there may be a smidge of baby fever going on here at 205 Love Lane but thats beside the point.

This post is totally for my use only, like I said when that day comes.

Totally.

Totally.

So for my own purpose I would like to list a list of possible baby names. Mr. Russell would appreciate you listening because he is so tired of me spouting off random name ideas all day and night.

So here goes.

1. Camden Paul

2. Camille Something

3. Lena Elaine

4. Macy Kate

5. Collier Pete

6. Renden May

7. Claude Something

8. Caleb Something

9. Sara Something

Ahhh I feel much better. Now then, we won't do this again until next week. :) I'll be missing you.

I am good at watching my weight...

Like I said, I am good at watching my weight... do everything but go down.

I was on Weight Watchers my senior year of college and I lost a measley 10 pounds. I really enjoyed seeing myself 10 lbs. less. But it didn't last long.

So Christmas came and went and when I lost something that was very special to me I ate more than I should have. Thats what I do...I am your average I eat because I'm sad and I'm sad because I eat girl.

Then I returned back to my regular college routine and the roomie, best, maid of honor (you should check out her blog) got me back on track. I re-lost the 5 lbs. that I gained over said incident. And thats where I hit my plateauuuuuuuuuuu.

So then I sort of kind of had a maybe big day and I wasn't my dream skinniest. But that sweet boy didn't seem to see a single flaw. He might have bad eyes. Or maybe I'm insecure...ahhh no couldn't be.

Then the honeymoon....oh Disney World, why oh why is your food so good? We had shrimp and fries, bbq chicken, buffet after buffet, and dinner with the princesses. Who doesn't love to pig out with the princesses. So after we came home I continued to eat. And eat. And did I mentioned that I ate. Because I did.

So here we are...May 6, 2010. The day I start to get skinny, errr again.

I have joined Weight Watchers online and its very handy.

And I have said all that just to say, you are going to have to excuse me if start to talk about weight loss to keep myself motivated. Motivation is needed. A growling stomach is not helping.

So feel free to leave any words of encouragement...I will beg for encouragement if I need to. But that could get ugly so lets not go there.

Hopefully there will be less of me next time I write.

Cheers to getting skinny!

Today Is The Day In Which I Become..

Whitney Russell...The College Graduate

I will update you on everything soon after it is official. But can I please leave you with this picture...

If there was any part of my heart that wasn't given to my husband a month ago, this guy now holds it. I will explain more later.

I would like to introduce myself...

Hi. I am Mrs. Russell and I am pleased to be back.

Its been a while but getting married isn't as easy as the movies make it seem. They don't show you that life continues to go on as you say "I Do." There is moving in involved. There is unpacking and writing thank-you notes involved. There is entertaining involved. And if you are like me, there is school involved.

But those are all details compared to the day I married my best friend.

It was more perfect than I ever dreamed it would be. And if you know me, you know

that I have dreamed of this day all my life.

There are no words to describe the feeling of walking arm-in-arm

with your daddy down the aisle.

Or the look that your groom gives you when he sees you.

Or the feeling of knowing that in a matter of moments, it won't

just be you anymore. It was sheer perfection.

My favorite part of the service was where Me and Mr. Russell

washed each other's feet. We got the idea from here and I have never felt so vulnerable

in my life. There is something so personal about washing

someone's feet but then having them wash your feet

is even more humbling. At that moment I knew that we were whole.

Service to Jesus and to each other is our goal in life and

washing each other's feet was our way of showing the world of our commitment

to that.

Now here are some pictures for your entertainment.

Ok now on to the Honeymoon...

DISNEY WORLD!

This was in the Magic Kingdom and I was like a little kid.

I ran around the whole time and I think I even drooled when I

saw Cinderella's castle. One word: Jealous.

My sweet husband booked dinner at Chef Mickey's.

This is a restaurant in which all the characters come around to your table

while you are eating to visit. I am star struck. I kept having to

tell myself that they are real people. I was ridiculous.

Minnie Mouse looked at our rings and she wanted to

take out picture with them showing.

I was on cloud nine knowing that Minnie saw my bling.

I called my mom immediately.

These 2 should be best friends.

And for the Grand Finale.....

Cinderella.

We had dinner with all the princesses and I think

I ma have, quite possibly, defiantly hyperventilated

when she came to our table.

It was better than meeting the Queen of England.

Thanks for taking this journey with me.

I am looking forward to seeing what the future brings

with me and my man.

And just remember...

When you wish upon a star

Makes no difference who you are

When you wish upon a star

Your dreams come true.

-Jiminie Cricket